If I Were The One
by Rinoa Heartilly
Summary: Alanna and George's wedding grows nearer by the day, as with Jonathan and Thayet's wedding. However, Alanna is in self-conflict over her future with George. Are they truly meant to be? Will Alanna choose to marry George? || Please R&R!


**Author's Notes:**  
This fic is set just after the Song of the Lioness series when both Alanna and George are planning to wed. This is also around the time that Jonathan and Thayet are planning their own wedding. Just to warn you all... This fic does NOT run in accordance to the actual series (in which Alanna and George actually wed, as with Jonathan and Thayet). I'm just writing this cause I'm a fairly unmoveable A/J fan *^_~*   
  
  
  
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**If I Were The One...**   
  
  
  
"Stefan..."  
  
  
  
Stefan lay sprawled amonst a bundle of loose hay. A cracked pint glass lay in a straw pile beside his hand, along with an odd-looking keg bundled under his stiffled arm. It looked almost as though he was a little child with a teddy bear straddled under his arms. He slept peacefully, with slight traces of drool emerging from the corner of his lips.  
  
  
  
_Cute..._ Alanna thought sarcastically. _Poor baby hostler can't sleep without his precious keg. He probably thinks it's a woman..._  
  
  
  
Alanna surpressed an evil chuckle, and began prodding Stefan with the tip of her shoe. She only prodded him lightly, not wanting to inflict too much pain upon him.  
  
  
  
"STEFAN!!"  
  
  
  
Stefan's fingers began to twitch, as he finally began to rouse from his deep sleep. Stefan rolled over to face the Lioness, squinting up at her with all the strength that he had left. Alanna looked annoyed, but to Stefan that was almost normal - considering the predicament he was in this morning, who wouldn't be?  
  
  
  
"It's so nice of you to grace us with your presence this fine morning..." Alanna exclaimed with false enthusiasm.  
  
  
  
Stefan blinked drowsily and sat up achingly. The stables weren't exactly the best place to sleep, let alone get drunk... He evidently had a hangover and felt as though he'd been toppled over by a horse - he was in the stables after all...  
  
  
  
"Whadda ye want this early in the morning, lass?" Stefan swayvered.  
  
  
  
"Early?! It's nearly midday! I was just on my way to pick up Moonlight... And there you were, passed out on the floor with a damn keg under yer arm!" Alanna explained.  
  
  
  
"Oh..."  
  
  
  
"Well... You had better get working before King Jonathan gets the better of you..."  
  
  
  
"Thanks for the warning, lass... But how come no one came to rouse me earlier?"  
  
  
  
"Simple enough, my dear Stefan. You were unconscious. No one _could_ wake you up..."  
  
  
  
After Stefan's short 'episode' in the stables, Alanna walked Moonlight away from the stables once she had finished preparing him. This is not how she wanted to start the day.  
  
  
  
_What a day..._ Alanna pondered, muttering useless curses under her breath. _First Buri and Thayet make an unnecessary fuss over fittings for my wedding dress. I mean, it's not like there's no time left before the wedding to do this... They just HAD to insist on doing it all TODAY! I don't even LIKE wearing dresses THAT much..._  
  
  
  
Alanna let out a sigh, reminiscing the mayhem from this morning. She let loose a slight tremble.  
  
  
  
_That wasn't the end of it either... That damn Stefan just HAD to get a hangover today, leaving half of the poor pages to fix up their own horses! That caused a HECK of a lot of mayhem on it's own! If he wasn't too intoxicated to tend to the horses, I might have been able to go riding earlier too! I really need to get outta here..._  
  
  
  
Alanna walked Moonlight a fair distance away from the stables. She gently stroked Moonlight along the bridge of his nose.  
  
  
  
"So where to, Moonlight?" Alanna asked.  
  
  
  
As expected, the horse stared blankly back at Alanna. He couldn't understand - not like Alanna's old cat, Faithful - he could understand AND talk back. Faithful's insults got slightly irritating from time to time, but nonetheless Alanna did miss the company sometimes.  
  
  
  
"I suppose any place far away from here would be good..." she muttered to herself.  
  
  
  
Alanna swiftly scrambled into Moonlight's saddle and gave a gentle flick on Moonlight's reigns. Alanna took one last look at the palace with temporary disgust in spite of this morning's frustrating events. She let out a long deep sigh... And in a matter of moments, Alanna and Moonlight's silhouette could only faintly be seen far off in the distance.  
  
  
  
  
  
*** * * * ***   
  
  
  
  
  
"George! So when's the big day? When 're you and the Lioness getting hitched?"  
  
  
  
"Yeah! When ARE you two gonna settle down?"  
  
  
  
"If you ask me, it's about bloody time George found himself a woman..."  
  
  
  
"A pretty fine woman at that! When they get married, SHE'LL be the one _protecting_ the household! Old Georgie will be stuck taking care of the little tikes!"  
  
  
  
George began blushing after hearing the comments being thrown around by his friends at the secretive Dancing Dove. With his and Alanna's wedding drawing nearer by the day, the constant talk and gossip became more frequent. Not only did this happen at the Dancing Dove, it had begun to circulate all around Corus, for the Lioness had quite a reknown reputation. Quite soon, it would have circulated around the whole of Tortall and it's bordering towns.  
  
  
  
"Fellow lads and lasses, the wedding will be almost a month from now! How many times do ye want me t' remind you lot?!" George joked.  
  
  
  
"Calm down Georgie! Only messin' round with ye, kiddo!"  
  
  
  
"S'all right lads," George replied, resuming his calm demeanor.  
  
  
  
Fits of laughter and gossip had once again broken out through the Dancing Dove as the "wedding mayhem" continued. George slumped back into his chair. He was starting to think that all this havoc was causing him more stress than joy. After all, aren't weddings meant to be blissful?  
  
  
  
_I gotta get outta here... I need to go somewhere that people aren't talking about me and Alanna..._ George thought to himself.  
  
  
  
With Alanna on his mind, George stood up and left the Dancing Dove. He had to escape the chatter before it drove him insane... And he had a slight idea where to go...  
  
  
  
  
  
*** * * * ***   
  
  
  
  
  
In the outskirts of Corus, the unmistakeable figure of the Lioness herself danced rhythmically in a somewhat hidden part of the forest. It was a moderate sized clearing bordering the edge of a vast lake - the clearing was large enough to allow Alanna some room to practice battlemoves. Behind the lake was a stunning view of the city of Corus. It was Alanna's own private sanctuary whenever she needed somewhere to cool off. It was the perfect place to shut everything out, not to mention a romantic place for those fortunate enough to find it.   
  
  
Alanna's raging battle cry echoed within her private alcove as she practised complicated fighting techniques with her sword, Lightning. Although her passion for the skill of fighting still burned greatly within her, there hadn't been many opportunities lately for her to touch up on those skills. This was her first taste of freedom since her engagement had been announced, and Alanna was intending on making the most of it.  
  
  
  
_... What will life be like when I get married? Will I never have time to fight again?_  
  
  
  
Glancing at the city of Corus in reminiscence, Alanna ceased her practice and held Lighting by the hilt in one of her calloused hands. She ran her free hand over the flat of the blade from hilt to tip. When her fingers had reached the tip, she intentionally punctured her index finger, allowing a tiny trickle of blood to fall to the ground. Her blood left a bright crimson stain which embedded itself into the earth.  
  
  
  
_... Lightning. I sure have had some good memories whilst yielding this sword... _ Alanna thought. _But will I have to give up going on long journeys once I marry George? I know that deep down he **wants** us to settle down..._  
  
  
  
For a split second, Alanna felt a surge of regret rush through her. An unescapeable feeling of remorse had wrapped itself around her mind. She knew she _had_ to give up a lot to be married. That's what marriage was to her - binding. But would it be different if she were to marry someone else? She had no answer to that.  
  
  
  
_I can't let this get to me. I know what this commitment means. I'm doing this for George because I love him... Don't I...?_  
  
  
  
Alanna couldn't take these thoughts anymore. She didn't want to think about them any longer. She came to this place to escape all those feelings. It was only temporary... But she needed this time to herself. All people need solitude every once in a while.  
  
  
  
_I came here to rid myself of all these feelings... Why are they coming back?!!_  
  
  
  
Alanna once again took Lightning in her hands and retured to her attack combinations. This time, however, a look of furiousity was set deep into her face...  
  
  
  
  
  
*** * * * ***   
  
  
  
  
  
George trod silently into the clearing that Alanna was in, denoting her agression as she handled Lighting with such speed and accuracy. He could tell there was something wrong with her, as he had never seen her this dedicated to her training before. The intencity in her eyes seems to burn into him. It almost seemed to frighten him...  
  
  
  
"Alanna..." George called out, hoping that she wouldn't decapitate him for disturbing her.  
  
  
  
"George?! What are you doing here?!!" Alanna gasped in surprise, letting Lightning drop out of her hands.  
  
  
  
George denoted the droplets of blood on the floor. It was only a _few_ drops, but he knew something was wrong. He knew Alanna well enough - she was in self conflict about something. Self conflict and intense battle training were ever a good combination, especially in Alanna's case. Everyone knew what she was capable of.  
  
  
  
Fortunately for George's sake, Alanna's trance was broken. She sprinted toward George, who was standing open-armed, and positioned herself comfortably inside his tight grip.  
  
  
  
"No doubt, I came t' see you, lass!" George responded.  
  
  
  
Alanna suddenly felt guilty for her thoughts earlier on. George evidently loved her and she didn't want to hurt him. Alanna asserted effort to push her past thoughts out of her mind as both George and herself sat in front of the lake.  
  
  
  
These are the times she enjoyed the most in George's company. From previous experience, they would spend the whole day in the clearing, up until the early hours of the morning just talking. These times reminded Alanna of the days when her and George were young; the best of friends with so much of life ahead of them. It reminded her just how much things had changed.  
  
  
  
Yet, a single thought resided in the depths of Alanna's mind. Thinking back on her life and what she had to give up for George, a thought tampered with her thoughts and refused to stop tormenting her. Could things have been different between them? What will things be like? Would the past affect them?  
  
  
  
_What if...?_  
  
  
  



End file.
